My Shit

Stuff I am going through right now….

I’m hoping if I put all my shit out into the universe it will get of head. I can always tell my moods by what I watch. Binge watching 2 scary series bc I am n a awkward / negative head space. been eating too much, spending too much, etc.

I’ve been thinking ab/ Sam a lot. I did her dirty although she did me dirty first. I was so hurt when she blew me off on valentine’s day without a call, text or anything. Another friend who let me down and hurt me. Long list…..MiChell, Kim, Samantha and I am sure a few in-between. Why do I keep picking these kind of friends? what’s wrong with me? is my judgement so screwed up i can’t pick anyone healthy? Maybe I expect to much from a friend? Maybe I expect to much out a friendship in the beginning? That what Rachelle thinks. I think I agree.

Anyways, ive decided to give Sam another try if she would like to give me another try too. i compared her to Kim bc she was cleaning this guys house that liked her for 600.00 each time. he is a widower. basically he liked her and wanted in her pants. She took advantage of his situation. I lost some respect for her even tho she did it for what says is a good reason. why I quit talking to her over this and valentines day I put up so much more shit Kim. why I let kit do things and refuse to give Sam a break is beyond me except for maybe I was scared she was going to abuse our relationship too and fuck me over. Fear makes us make decisions w/ total judgement. I like Sam. I think I will text her today. she is now engaged to a much younger guy. maybe she is got her priorities straight.

I will let you know.